January 2012
2 posts
calisydnee@aol.com: hi!
Me: hi
calisydnee@aol.com: hey whats up? 23/F here. youu?
Me: 26/m.
calisydnee@aol.com: hmm. have we chattted before?
Me: I doubt it. I only recently discovered the English language.
calisydnee@aol.com: oh ok. l wasn't sure. anywayz.... whats up?
Me: I'm struggling with this strange environment I've found myself in. There aren't any solar depots for charging my hovercraft, and food here all tastes… different. Like, literally, why doesn't it all taste the same anymore?
calisydnee@aol.com: im Iikee so boreeddd.... there iss nothinggggg too do
calisydnee@aol.com: ohhh waiit! i have a greatt idea. have u eveer watched a sexyy girI Iike me striip Iive on a cam before?
Me: Who hasn't? Ever since the New Enlightenment of 2436, males and females have been living on separate sides of the planet, only converging for a once-annual mating period that lasts a mere 8 days. The rest of the year is spent finding an appropriate mate using Skype v.341.3.
calisydnee@aol.com: wellIIl.... u couId watcch me strrip if u wouId Iike?
Me: I have to warn you, I'm already in a pretty committed relationship with Olivia Sequence 341c3-2. So, if we were to pursue the practice of e-courting, you will have to accept that my heart still belongs to her.
calisydnee@aol.com: yeah? okk weIl my cam is setuup through this webbsite so that i can't bee recorded so u have too signupp there.
calisydnee@aol.com: it onIyy takes a minnute and it is freee. ok?
Me: You realize that the internet no longer exists, right? I'm chatting to you using the tele-organic matter connection I've established with you.
calisydnee@aol.com: goo therre then up at thhe top of the paage cIlick on the goIldish JOIN FREE buttton.
calisydnee@aol.com: k?
Me: Oh fuck it. I could use a good wank.
November 2011
1 post
October 2011
3 posts
V-I-M-E-O!
September 2011
12 posts
5 tags
I’m such a hypocrite.
The trailer for the short film I produced and star in, “Imprint.”
Details for its release will be coming soon.
August 2011
11 posts
Two years ago, I looked like this:
Today, I look like this:
And I have no idea how to get back to this:
Did I mention I’m in a band?
7 tags
My Day, Yesterday on Flickr. Inspired by Garrett Murray’s reboot of his “My Day, Yesterday” video series, I decided to make one of my own.
July 2011
7 posts
5 tags
6 tags
June 2011
2 posts
I think my ability to correctly recall history is being affected by the sight of...
– Ross Beeley: An Open Letter to the Gentleman Blow-Drying His Balls in the Gym Locker Room.
You have no idea how many times I’ve said this in my life.
May 2011
15 posts
We must adhere to our democratic and legal values, even if that adherence serves...
– Justice Robert Sharpe, writing on behalf of Justices John Laskin and Eleanore Cronk (via The Star)
So the writer who breeds more words than he needs, is making a chore for the...
– Dr. Seuss (via erinjohannson)